Love At Every Sight

All people except Poets
Are insane

The oppressive majority of all people are insane
So their insanity appears sane

And when I revolt against this all-consuming insanity
They think me insane

All Poets
Are insane

Miracles exist
Without a doubt
And I am so sure of this

As I am that had your nose been slightly more hooked
The whole face of the earth would have been changed
You are a feast

I wrote my first poem
With my steps
When as a student struck down by my mad infatuation
I roamed the streets and alleys of my city
Writing the long name of my beloved with the trajectory of my steps

I wore out entire neighborhoods under my feet memorizing the sequence of the gigantic letters
E V E L I N A

Within a few weeks I managed to cover
The floor plan of an entire huge metropolis
With a handwriting
Rather a foot-writing
That would send me straight to a psychiatric ward
With a never before seen diagnosis: LINA

I longed to tickle her all over her body
I longed to rape each one of her pores
I longed to stand with her face to face
And tie her long hair into one knot with mine
With the sun pouring in through hair-thin cracks
I longed to show her the world in my eyes
I longed to see her just once past midnight
And instead of the lunar phases

I saw the flying half-moons of her nail clippings
I longed to comb my hair with her fingers
To use her paint-covered palms for painting my car
I longed to rip out her long hair
And replace with them the strings of my electric guitar
I longed to become her three-dimensional geometric shape of choice
I longed to drive my teeth through her tits
And dangle from her nipple panting in rhythm with all of her knickknacks
I longed to be at her house
I longed to find her behind every opening door
I longed to pull her vagina over me instead of underwear
I longed to be her passwords
I longed to look at the world through the earring holes in her ears
I longed to become her achievable but unfading dream
I longed to have her blow me behind the wheel of a speeding car
I longed to be crucified on her body
And in this way mix our bloods together for eternity
I longed to watch her

Meticulously brush my teeth with her long eyelashes
And I was becoming a Poet

Baby
I'm offering you a beautiful guy who creates beauty
What more can you want?
Or does my beauty-creational pursuit
Indicate insufficiency of your consummate beauty?

She loved another

A cliché story
As trite as two and two is four

Everyone has abandoned you except yourself.

How I worshipped the hieroglyphics of her body movements

She was crazy about the moon
She was barely nineteen
And although she wasn't one of those sentimental dreamy saps
At night she liked to look at the moon for a long-long time
Then it donned on me that I should become an astronaut
And go to the moon to get my fill of her glances directed at "me"
But I was destined to become
An air traveler at best
And instead of the moon

I flew to America
Following in Columbus's air-tracks
I cabbed from New York to New Jersey
Then Georgia
To earn some dough for the first time in my life
Menial labor
Sleepless nights
Depression
Guns to my head and shooting some whiskey
Exhaustion
Hard overtime work
Smoking joints
Busting my ass
The owner paid me each buck as generously
As the prostate gland yields a drop of piss
Fucking capitalists
A few months later we rented a ride
Loaded up on beer
Shoved all that shit in the ass of the old Toyota
And zoomed to the Atlantic
To elevate the sea level with our hardened bodies
Beach entertainment
Beach volleyball with beautiful chicks playing like crap
Shielding our eyes with colorful beach bikinis worn on our faces
Chasing the shrieking chicks looking for their bikinis
The summer sun tanning on
Sizzling beach asses

Out of the ocean washing up the shores of the sand-covered town of Savannah

The tide would throw us
Wet to the bone
With familiar unfamiliar girls and guys
Into nightclubs
We'd shake off the water
The exclamation points of our toxic trips
We moved mercilessly distorting da Vinci's "Proportions of the Human Body"
Hung out danced went nuts fucked but
I kissed with the knowledge that I was spitting into those mouths
At the club
Mad
Poseidon

I barely made it out of this bedlam of dancing and the crazy rhythms of the drum&bass
I was shit-faced and at three in the morning
I stood by myself on a very long bridge
Shaky and unsteady like me
And dreamed of how Lina unable to endure our separation would ask
Amazon.com to caringly ship me into her arms
NO PEDESTRIANS
My feet took me against the wind away from the illuminated city into the remote darkness
I knew that waiting for me on the other side of the bridge was South Carolina
I could sense Lina moving on the other hemisphere
Of the globe which was only a circus ball
Rolling under her feet
In the opposite direction of her careless steps
I'd decided to take a solitary swim off a nearby Carolinian beach
From time to time huge trucks rushed by
The darkness ahead was frightening indeed
And there was mysteriousness in this darkness
So I left the drunken buzz behind
I used to walk from one side of my city to the other
To Love Street
Where my beauty lived
Pressing the walls of her house to my ears
Deaf to the world I searched for her voice the domestic hustle and bustle
At least a cough at least a burp at least the intestinal winds
Now I walked alone in the dark on the other side of the world
Over some shaky bridge
My reason long ago knocked out by the powerful jabs of my heart
It silently quivered like a beheaded white dove
Look into its eyes
Then I'd go visit one of my friends
Bang on the door until somebody answered
I'd drag him sleepy outside
And amidst the winter frost passionately describe my emotional state
Pouring nonsensical ideas into the steam coming off my lips
From afar this bitter spectacle resembled an amusing comic strip
A seagull flew up from underneath the bridge
I would head unrelentingly into the Endless Night
To get to South Carolina
To the Mecca of my insatiable love
That carried the cherished name
K A R O L I N A
The title of my first poem
Composed of the syllables of our first names

When I stepped onto Carolinian soil
I was startled
Here
I found distorted scenes from my poem "Karolina"
"She and He in a convertible, a sleepy serpent's leading them
… straight to the devil's den"
In front of my eyes
To the left of the road sign that read
Welcome to South Carolina!
Lay a huge snake run over by a car
In a puddle of dried blood half the length of its body
A little farther down the road
Covered with years of dust a convertible car
With flat tires
I looked on for a while
In cold sweat
My blurred vision of a fervent atheist
Revealed the emerging contours of God
And I was becoming a Poet

I left walking backwards part of the way
The scene was shrinking like burning paper
And like a kitten that sees its own shadow for the first time
I was meeting myself anew

I used to think that for me
Poetry was only a way to express love
But after this I clearly realized that
For me
Love was nothing more
than one of the thousand ways to express Poetry
And I was becoming a Poet
Shouting to the world at the top of my lungs

Poetry is the only precious human quality
All the others are nonsense

Love is the mother of philanthropy

I love you

East and West kept playing volleyball
They exchanged a few dozen serves of the sun
As I made my way homeward from America
Tired and worn out

To distill Poetry from her indifference
Like medicine from snake venom

 

 

Translated by Margarit T. Ordukhanyan

© Karen Karslyan, December 1, 2003-March 21, 2004, Yerevan
 Armenian

 Russian